Beauty from the Ashes

This time last year I was reeling from a miscarriage, still actively grieving. I was also struggling to come to terms with the loss of my job in youth ministry. Lent felt very much like the desert last year.  Time can be a beautiful thing though. It offers some distance, healing, and much needed perspective. Standing here, a full year later offers many glimmers of hope and beauty. I have settled into the rhythm of being a stay at home mom with Lucy, who truly is a light. And now we are expecting again, after nearly a year of trying.  Beauty from the ashes.

But then life throws a wrench in the plan. In a time full of hope and promise, the coronavirus pandemic reared its ugly face. At first it felt like something distant, like it’d never actually affect my daily life. But as time went on… well, you know.

Into the Desert

That first Lent, when Jesus was led into the desert, he was stripped of everything. No food, no water, no companionship other than the devil who desired to tempt him in his weakest moments. It was Jesus, alone with his prayer and communion with his Father in heaven.

So too we find ourselves very tangibly led into the desert this Lent, stripped down to the essentials. We have been freed from the usual distractions: no sports, no academics, no big social events. We do not even have in-person mass or the reception of the Eucharist. And here we are, naked before God. Stripped of all the accomplishments and achievements that we would typically use to clothe ourselves before Him. We are left alone to face our dependence, our frailty, and our mortality. We are left in the desert with God, alone and stripped of any illusions of control we may have once clung to so desperately. 

In some ways, this can lead us to feel as though the life we had but a month ago seems like a shadow or a distant memory. Some may even feel this sense of loss as we are left to mourn what was and are forced to live with the ashy remnants of yesterday.

All Things Work for Good

This is, admittedly, a bleak picture. Have you gone down this rabbit hole of despair? Read article after article the mainstream media uses to lead us into a frenzy of hopelessness, panic, and fear? There are some who stand to profit from this. But I wanted to remind you of a truth outside of ourselves: a person, the One who makes all things work for good (Rom. 8:28). The One who can take the ashes of our lives and transform them into something beautiful. He brings beauty from the ashes. He is the one in which we should place our hope and our trust right now. 

Even before this worldwide pandemic reaches a resolution, good comes from it. We see people coming together in support and solidarity, people singing from balconies in Italy, a deeper concern for the vulnerable and elderly than this world typically displays. We see lessening of pollution, lives slowing down such that they are able to hear the birds sing. Neighbors are coming outside and talking to one another. Br. Richard Hendrick, OFM, in Ireland sums it up so beautifully in this poem entitled “Lockdown.” 

Eyes Fixed on Jesus

During this crazy time, keep your eyes fixed upon Jesus. He knows your fears and your worries. Never lose sight of the fact that he has overcome death. He has given meaning to suffering. However, Jesus never promised resurrection without struggle. Death first, then resurrection. The cross first, then the glory of the crown of victory. He brings beauty from the ashes. The ashes of pain, loss, fear, anxiety, and even death. All may feel dark and bleak, but this is not the end. Keep holding onto his outstretched hands. Let him pull you from the ashes into something infinitely more beautiful. Let him pull you from your finite Earthly existence into the eternal light and joy of the heavenly banquet where rust nor moth destroy and thieves do not steal (Matthew 6:20-21). 

Last May on my last day of work, my coworkers gifted me a blooming orchid plant. It had three pretty white blooms. I appreciated the gesture, but I knew it would be yet another casualty of my thumb that is not-so-green. Eventually the blooms fell off, but I kept watering that plant, carefully following the instructions provided, determined to keep it alive. About six months later, I noticed it was growing again. Buds were forming at the ends of the spikes. And by mid January, those blooms began to open up. Right about when we got another positive pregnancy test.  It’s a small thing, a simple plant, but it was a reminder that beauty does come from the ashes. 

Questions for prayer & reflection:

• How has this time of trial caused you to step back and reevaluate?
• What are your greatest fears & concerns right now? Talk to God – Father, Son and Holy Spirit about these things. Take some silent time for him to answer.
• What is a way you can connect more deeply with him, especially if attending mass is not a viable option?