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Embrace Your Suffering
This has been an exhausting year full of suffering for so many. Our world is as divisive as ever. There are so many things to capture our attention and upset our peace. And in the time between writing and posting this, the world has been flipped upside down with war in Ukraine. Winter brings its own host of issues with cold weather, short days, and illness. Lots of illness this year. And regardless of what is going on in the world around us, our own lives carry on as usual, with all of its demands and stresses. It can feel overwhelming. For our family, illness has been rampant this winter,…
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My Dad’s Heart Attack and the Power of Prayer
Lucy and I had just finished meeting the family’s newest addition (her cousin, my nephew). He was two days new, tiny and sweet. We only had a few minutes before we had to get back home so Jon could get to his regular holy hour. I was pulling away from their house and I got a phone call from my brother. It was short and succinct. I could hear him take a breath and he said, “Dad collapsed tonight.” I responded “WHAT?” CPR. Sedated. Intubated. Dad is stable now, but we don’t know what happened. Words you hope you’ll never hear in the same sentence about either of your parents.…
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Have Peace in Me
This daily reading reflection was originally written for the Nativity Parish blog. You can read today’s mass readings here. Fr. Jacques Philippe, a favorite spiritual author of mine, said in his book Searching for and Maintaining Peace, that “all the reasons that cause us to lose our sense of peace are bad reasons.” He dedicates a whole section to this very topic. When I read that phrase, I found myself coming up with excuses as to why all my worries and anxieties were justified. Regardless of the severity of whatever it is on my heart and mind, I kept coming back to a few realizations. First, I can control virtually…
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Beauty from the Ashes
This time last year I was reeling from a miscarriage, still actively grieving. I was also struggling to come to terms with the loss of my job in youth ministry. Lent felt very much like the desert last year. Time can be a beautiful thing though. It offers some distance, healing, and much needed perspective. Standing here, a full year later offers many glimmers of hope and beauty. I have settled into the rhythm of being a stay at home mom with Lucy, who truly is a light. And now we are expecting again, after nearly a year of trying. Beauty from the ashes. But then life throws a wrench…
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When Prayer Doesn’t Work
Before you begin, read Mark 5:21-43 I have been thinking about prayer a lot lately. Not necessarily how do I pray or what should I pray, but rather what is prayer, really? How does prayer work? Why doesn’t prayer work better? I mean, let’s be honest, I feel like most people (myself included) have wondered why God isn’t answering their prayers. Now, this is such an incredibly broad topic I won’t be able to talk about it from every aspect. So today, I’m addressing the “big” stuff. Why did I have a miscarriage even though I lifted up desperate, incessant prayers that it wouldn’t happen? Why did my daughter/son/mother/father not recover…
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Empty Tombs
Before you begin: Read John 20:11-18 I think we can all relate to that feeling of emptiness. We all have those sources of pain and anguish – loss, grief, sadness. I’ve had my own lately. Between dealing with job loss and miscarriage, Lent was tough this year. I felt as though I had been stripped of so many things that were so important to me, and in a way that I didn’t really have a choice in the matter. I know I’m not alone in this. I’ve seen so much suffering around me lately, miscarriage, death of young children, cancer, financial hardship, divorce. I don’t think anyone needs reminding that…