My Domestic Church: Jesus in the Toilet
My toddler went through a phase where she threw everything in the toilet. Wash cloths, headbands, diapers, toys, you name it. She probably tried to get it into the toilet water at least once. One particular morning I was getting ready in my bathroom and Lucy was playing. This day, I watched her out of the corner of my eye grab something off my night table. She then ran with it into the bathroom, opened the toilet lid, and threw said item in with a plop. I looked down and saw my St. John Paul II crucifix in the toilet.
The one-sided conversation that ensued was something like this, “WHY DID YOU THROW MY CRUCIFIX IN THE TOILET? JESUS DOESN’T BELONG IN THE TOILET! YOU SHOULDN’T PUT ANYTHING IN THE TOILET EXCEPT TOILET PAPER AND PEE AND POOP!” In true Lucy form, she looked away, grinned, then ran away, pounding on the door of her daddy’s office (now that he’s working from home). She then cried through the door something about Jesus and the toilet. Needless to say, Jon was confused. I assured him that what she was saying was accurate. Jesus was, indeed, in the toilet.
This is the story of my beautiful, lovely, domestic church these days. How is yours?
What is the domestic church?
This is a phrase that’s often tossed around and many times it leaves people wondering what that means. The domestic church is the smallest unit of the church: the family. It is a “mini-church” if you will. It is the place where members build one another up, grow in love, service, communion, and knowledge. The domestic church is the proper place for children to learn how to pray, be prepared for the sacraments, and worship together. In the words of the Bishops of Rome, “The Christian family… is the first community called to announce the Gospel to the human person during growth and to bring him or her… to full human and Christian maturity.” (Familiaris Consortio, 2).
The Beauty of the Quarantine
In many ways, the quarantine of the past several months have illustrated this concept in a clearer way. Parishes closed indefinitely overnight. No public masses, no programs, no RE, no Lenten activities, stations of the cross, or even Holy Week or Easter masses. What resulted from this was beautiful to see though. Families took ownership of that gap in their spiritual lives. Living rooms became little sanctuaries for mass, parents became their own child’s instructor in the faith, and Holy Week became an event for families. Some had special dinners for the Last Supper, foot washings, and prayer vigils. Easter morning brought an opportunity to dress up and celebrate, despite the fact that parishes were still closed.
It looked different for many families, obviously not everyone can do everything, but many, many families did something to celebrate in their own special ways. For some, this may not have changed much in the way they celebrated at home prior to the quarantine. But for others, this was a radical shift. I found it all to be so beautiful because this illustrated the role parents should always take in the spiritual lives of their children.
An Outsourced Task
Oftentimes today, the idea of the domestic church is lost on us because we default to giving this task to the parishes or schools to educate our children in the faith. This is not a conscious realization for many families.
They are there to support the parents in their role as domestic church, not replace it. The goal is not to send kids out to let someone else teach them about the faith in order for them return home to an environment where the faith is not cultivated. The goal is for the parish or schools to build upon what’s already happening at home.
Even though parishes have begun to open back up and in many places mass has started again in some capacity, I want to encourage you to continue building up your own domestic church. This is the greatest task we have as parents, whether your children are tiny tots, out of the house, or anywhere in between. We can continue to work at this good and difficult calling.
Stay Tuned for More!
In the coming weeks, I will continue to post on this topic, including:
- ideas on building up your domestic church
- praying with your kids
- taking your children to adoration
- building up a catholic culture at home
- and more
If you have questions or anything you’d like to hear about, please comment below!
As a parting thought, consider the following quote:
“Only by praying together with their children can a father and mother-exercising their royal priesthood-penetrate the innermost depths of their children’s hearts and leave an impression that the future events in their lives will not be able to efface.
Familiaris Consortio, 60
Let us again listen to the appeal made by Paul VI to parents: “[Parents], do you teach your children the Christian prayers? Do you prepare them, in conjunction with the priests, for the sacraments that they receive when they are young: Confession, Communion and Confirmation? Do you encourage them when they are sick to think of Christ suffering to invoke the aid of the Blessed Virgin and the saints Do you say the family rosary together? [Parents], do you pray with your children, with the whole domestic community…?
Your example of honesty in thought and action, joined to some common prayer, is a lesson for life, an act of worship of singular value. In this way you bring peace to your homes: Pax huic domui. Remember, it is thus that you build up the Church.”
For prayer and reflection:
- What part of this article resonated most with you? Why?
- Where do you excel at building up your domestic church? What is one area you’d like to improve?
- Spend some time in silence. Ask the Holy Spirit to inspire you and show you how he desires your family to grow in the faith this summer. Make an action plan and do it!