My Domestic Church: Taking Your Children to Adoration

Jesus said, “Let the children come to me, and do not prevent them; for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.” Matthew 19:14

Take my children to adoration? Take my kids to sit in church? In silence? And pray? Are you kidding me?! Nope! 

Taking your children to adoration probably feels like a daunting task.  However, Eucharistic Adoration is such a great gift to give to our children and something we shouldn’t avoid because it’s hard. 

Some time ago, I went to adoration and a grandmother came in with who I presumed to be her grandson, probably around 7 years old and full of energy. I had seen them there more than once before, but I was touched by the interaction I witnessed. The little boy was struggling to sit still, and the kneeling grandma really wanted to finish her rosary. He was fidgeting and talking a bit, but she instructed him to kneel and told him that Jesus was here, pointing at the monstrance. The little boy said, “Where?” and the grandma said, “Up there, in the monstrance.” She asked him to kneel and pray to Jesus. Then the little boy whispered, “Jesus is hard to see, I can’t see him!” 

Jesus is Hard to See

Isn’t that the truth for all of us? Isn’t Jesus hard to see sometimes? Even when we are able to spend time with our Eucharistic Lord, we are sometimes left sitting in doubt, wondering whether or not what we believe is real. But through persistent prayer and consistent time with Jesus, he makes himself known to us. He makes his presence felt in the most minute ways and other times in significant gestures. 

Time with Jesus in adoration can be likened to time in the sun. We are soaking up the rays and can’t tell anything is happening until after our time in the sun is over, and we find ourselves burnt.   Or even at the end of the summer, when we have silly looking tan lines.

Children have a great capacity for relationship with Jesus, especially younger children. They can be shaped and formed and molded. And even though Jesus can sometimes be hard to see, they have a great capacity for faith and prayer, and we must not deprive them of the life-changing opportunity of regular time with Jesus.

Taking children to adoration is not always easy. Thus, I am going to offer some different tips and tricks for various age groups, hoping it will give you the boost you need to take your children confidently to Jesus, just as he said, “Let the children come to me!”.

Toddlers and Preschoolers (1-5 years)

I used to go to adoration at my home parish nearly every day after the chapel opened when I was in high school. One summer I learned that one day a week in the morning, a young mom would come in for her holy hour, bringing her two young toddlers with her.  Were they noisy? Yes. Was it beautiful to see? Yes. Was there anyone else there besides her family and me? No.  There wasn’t really anyone to distract because it was her assigned holy hour and she was faithful to it week after week.  If there were people to distract, they could easily avoid that hour and attend at a different time.

I also have one toddler. When I take my little one to adoration, sometimes it’s just to drop by for a few minutes. If we go for longer, we will take her Missal for Toddlers and Children’s Bible full of pictures. You could consider some religious coloring books, Shining Lights dolls, saint peg dolls, or a Wee Believers Magnetic Church Set. They will need something to keep their little hands busy, and I suppose anything that will keep their heart on the things above, the better! If you have littles, don’t be afraid to talk to them, teach them to genuflect, say the Hail Mary, or do the sign of the cross. And continue to practice these things daily. 

And if you’re in a smaller or more contained space, let your child wander around a little bit. There’s no harm in that, especially if there’s nothing they can get into or break. 

Don’t Worry about the Thoughts of Others

Most of all, I struggle with feeling self conscious about what other people might think if I take my toddler to adoration. Are they distracting? Too noisy? Even when my little Lucy was a newborn, I was so self conscious about her constant little grunts and whimpers. Again, the truth is Jesus said, “Let the children come to me, and do not prevent them.”  If anyone says something negative, let it roll off, and rest in the truth of these words of Jesus. He delights in the presence of your child, whether it’s two minutes or 20.

I don’t think it’s required to take your toddler to a weekly holy hour, but making it a regular part of your week is good and beautiful, even if just for a few minutes.Even those little ones can soak up the graces! But most of all, do what is attainable for you. Maybe that’s stopping by once or twice a month. Don’t feel like you’re a good or bad parent because adoration works for someone else and is extremely difficult for you. Don’t play the comparison game! 

Elementary Aged Kids (5-12 years)

This is a fantastic age to start developing more routine habits of prayer. Children have a great capacity for faith and prayer and relationship with Jesus. After all, we can look to some great saints like Maria Goretti or Tarciscius, who fell into the older end of this age category. They had such faith that they were willing to die for what they believed in. 

One really cool resource are these My Little Nazareth books by Kimberly Fries. She has a line called “for little ones” which are what they sound like, books geared towards younger children, some start for ages 4 and up, and others, like the one on receiving the Eucharist, is for ages 7 and up. Topics range from the saints to Divine Mercy to Lectio Divina. You can check out her website for more books. 

But for adoration, I absolutely love the idea of teaching your child to start praying with the scriptures using her Lectio Divina book. It’s something you could practice and pray with your child at home and then you could take it to pray with before the Blessed Sacrament. Same goes for her book Guided Prayer which breaks prayer down into simple steps. 

Teaching Your Child to Pray

Prayer – and I’m speaking of prayer that steps beyond rote prayer – but deeper communication with God, must be taught. It doesn’t come naturally to many of us, so taking time to teach children to pray at home and taking that skill into different settings is how it will grow and develop. Don’t expect things to happen overnight. Pray for your children as you do the work of really leading them deeper in their faith, and trust that they will also learn beautiful things through your own example and witness to prayer in your own life.

And again, don’t feel pressure to take your child to adoration for a whole hour. Start small and build those prayer muscles. Perhaps 10-15 minutes is what works well for your younger child. But if they can handle more, by all means, take them for longer!

Teenage Kids (13 years and up)

I know some of you are thinking that I’m crazy. Perhaps you are thinking my teenager doesn’t want to spend an hour in silence and prayer at Eucharistic Adoration. If you are skeptical, I will tell you this. I spent eight years as a high school youth minister and offering Eucharistic Adoration was a regular occurrence in the ministries I was entrusted with.

I believed then, and still believe now, that placing souls in front of Jesus is of utmost importance in the work of evangelization. In 15 or 30 or 60 minutes he can change hearts in a way that I never could in a year of ministry. I believed then, and still believe now, that teens hunger deeply for silence and peace. They are bombarded with so many messages from so many different places, whether that be from school, peers, social media, their families, you name it, they hunger for truth and authenticity. This hunger can be filled by Jesus. Teens will sit still in the silence. Some have a greater capacity for it, and that’s ok. Silence is like a language that must be learned, it doesn’t come naturally to many, but it can come with practice and time. 

When I taught summer religious education a few years ago to a classroom of 13 and 14 year olds, we spent time each week in adoration. The first week it was only 15 minutes. The second week it was during confession, so it was a more significant amount of time as everyone made it through to confession. Many of these kids weren’t even in the habit of attending Sunday mass with their families, but when I asked them if they liked going, the common response was, “Yes, it’s so peaceful. Can we go again?” Be still my heart!

Learning to Pray

When you take your teens to adoration, it’s good for them to spend some of their time in silence, listening. It’s good for them to learn and explore different types of prayer and figure out what works for them. 

Perhaps they find they love the repetition and meditative quality of the rosary. 

Perhaps they’re very imaginative and visual and they find they can encounter Christ deeply through Ignatian Prayer. It’s important for you, as their parent, to encourage them to explore and to provide them with different resources as they build that prayer muscle. 

Again, it’s ok to start slow. Maybe 15 minutes a week is what works for you. It might be the case that after a couple months of this, they linger a little longer and express a desire for more. That’s amazing! Up it to 30 minutes. Maybe they are older and can drive and want to drive themselves to adoration for a holy hour. How beautiful would that be?! Our God is so good and he will draw them in, but it’s not always instantaneous and it’s not the same for every person. There are plenty of teens capable of regular holy hours, but it might not be right for every teen.

The Family Holy Hour

A beautiful opportunity that came up this year where I live is the family holy hour at a local parish. This has been such a blessing for so many families. If you have the opportunity or even the desire to start something like this, please do it! 

This is a Holy Hour that occurs twice a month throughout the year. It’s a full hour of adoration with soft music playing in the background, confessions offered by a priest, and social time afterward. There are so many families there experiencing Jesus in a profound way together. 

You have the freedom to stay for 10 minutes or the whole hour. There is no pressure on any given parent to keep their kids perfectly silent. Some little kids wander around a bit, others play in their pews. Older kids are there too with their families. 

Be Not Afraid

In the end, just give it a try! Find  a perpetual adoration chapel or perhaps a parish that offers adoration for an hour or two during the week and drop in. The more you do it, the more comfortable you will feel with it. The longer you persist, the more you will perceive the impact of the graces not only in your own heart and life, but in that of your children as well!

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The Challenge

Find a time in the coming week to stop by Eucharistic Adoration with your children.