Learning to Surrender (The Sequel)
If you haven’t read Learning to Surrender, that’s part one of this story, so be sure to read that first.
The week after learning baby was breech, I headed into the hospital for my version. I was pretty certain baby had already flipped back to head down, but I went to the hospital and asked for a quick ultrasound before they tried to place an IV. When they put the wand on my belly, it was very clear that baby was already head down. I was thrilled!
All the pieces were in place to have a vaginal delivery, just a waiting game at this point. Jesus, you took care of everything!
Next week…
The following week, I went in for my 39 week appointment and I was already 3cm dilated, which doesn’t necessarily mean anything in terms of when to deliver, but I was still encouraged by it. On my way home from my appointment, I stopped at the Chinese buffet to grab takeout for dinner. While I was filling my container with food, I started feeling gushes of fluid. My mind started racing a little… hm, what was that? I started scooping my food a little faster, and I felt another gush. Hm, I wonder if that’s my water breaking? I started moving a little faster, significantly distracted by this new development.
Upon checking out, the nice man at the counter asked me how my day was going. All I could think was, how funny would it be for me to tell him I thought my water had just broken at his buffet! When I got home, I told my husband that I thought my water just broke and his eyes got really big and said, “What?!” After dinner, we waited for my contractions to start up while getting the hospital bag ready, calling family that was going to come help out with the kids, and putting kids to bed.
At about 8:30pm we checked in at the hospital and by 9:00pm, the doctor said I was dilated to 4cm. She had a c-section that needed done with another patient and said she’d be back after that. I was so disappointed I hadn’t made more progress! I did, however, know I wanted an epidural, and now was a good time as my contractions were seriously kicking in. The nurse let me know that the anesthesiologist was with the doctor in the c-section room, so we’d have to wait. How long? She said probably 45 minutes. This is the moment I knew I wasn’t getting that epidural I was ready for. Jesus, you take care of it. As it turns out, that doesn’t necessarily mean he’s going to take care of it in the way I want.
Little Nicholas
The doctor came back around 10:00pm when I had already been ready to push for a while. Two contractions later and our precious Nicholas Fulton was born, 7lbs 14oz and 20 inches. That last hour was incredibly intense, but it was over and our new baby was in my arms.
Little Nicholas has brought gifts and graces that I never knew I needed, right from the beginning of the pregnancy. Lessons in surrender and letting go and trusting God throughout all things. Surrender has always been such a scary lesson for me to even think about learning, but God has been so very gentle in the way he has brought me to it. And it’s always an unexpected surprise when such tiny packages bring such great blessings.
For Prayer and Reflection
- This is the same as the last post, but I think it’s so very important to pray about: What are the areas you struggle to surrender to God? Bring these places to him. Ask him to be gentle.
- Join me in praying the Surrender Novena! Leave some comments below about the graces you receive daily from praying this prayer.
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