My Little Cloister

The cloister of Carmel is called by Claire Dwyer, author of This Present Paradise, “an inheritance of silence and solitude and perpetual prayer” and is one of many paths to holiness. Great saints and Doctors of the Church have arisen from this tradition. St. Theresa of Avila, St. John of the Cross, St. Therese of Lisieux, and the somewhat lesser known St. Elizabeth of the Trinity, to name a few.

Family life is very different. And though many great saints have arisen from the tradition of silence and solitude, many great saints have arisen also from the great tradition of noise and chaos, of love and laughter, otherwise known as the family. Look at St. Gianna Molla, working mother. Blessed Franz Jaegerstatter, contentious objector to the Nazis in Germany. St. Louis and Zélie Martin, working parents of nine souls, five living to adulthood and all becoming nuns. Sainthood comes is innumerable forms.

Different Paths, One Goal

Though the path may look outwardly different, are they really that different? I know that parents in the trenches of parenthood with small kids or even older ones face a busy reality with lots of noise and little spare time for daily holy hours and lengthy prayer. But I know for my husband and I, we are striving for the same realities as these great Carmelites, that is, holiness.

Claire Dwyer, in her book This Present Paradise, quotes St. Elizabeth of the Trinity describe her day in the life of a Carmelite as such:

We begin our day with an hour of prayer at 5 o’clock in the morning, then we spend another hour in choir to say the Divine Office… then Mass. At 2p.m. we have Vespers, at 5 p.m. prayer until 6 p.m. At 7:45, Compline. Then we pray until Matins, which is said at 9p.m., and it is only around 11 p.m. that we leave the choir to go to take our rest. During the day we have two hours of recreation; then after that, silence the whole time. When I am not sweeping, I work in our little cell.

Claire Dwyer, This Present Paradise (Manchester, NH: Sophia Institute Press, 2020), 101.

My reality right now is babies and toddlers, living with littles. My children are my little cloister. They are the bells that chime with peals of laughter and tears, summoning me out of my chamber of self and into a prayer of service for a hidden Other.

A Day in the Life of My Little Cloister

I might say a day in the life of my little cloister might look a little something like this:

At 5a.m. the bells ring, that is, Nathanael cries, summoning me from bed, demanding to be fed. Sometimes those bells ring at 1 a.m. or 2 a.m. Once his belly is filled, we both return for our last minutes of rest before the day commences. At 6:30 a.m., the day officially begins, with the cries of Lucy, “Mommy! Daddy! Get me out!” Meals are routinely served at 7 a.m., 11:30 a.m. and 5:00 p.m. A brief time of rest may be had from 1-1:30 p.m., if naps coincide. This is often silent time for prayer, but not consistently.

Wiping bottoms, changing clothes, playing outside, keeping children content become a prayer. Recreation and quiet time for the adults begins at 8:00 p.m. when the children are finally in bed. This may be prayer time, a game, or finishing the unfinished tasks of the day. At 10:00 p.m. is the grand silence, when the lights go out and our heads hit the pillow, exhausted yet fulfilled, seeking rest before a new day in my little cloister.

Perhaps our days differ in noise level and activity, but either way, our lives are not our own. We beckon to the call of another, serving in love and thus fulfilling our vocation to love.

You are on YOUR Path to Holiness!

If you ever find yourself lamenting your unmet desire to dive deeper into prayer, or your inability to attend daily masses or holy hours in the same way that you used to, consider the path that has been laid before you. You live in your own little cloister. You are living your path to holiness. Parenthood is deeply demanding, but the means to sanctify you are built in. This is not to say you shouldn’t have a life of prayer, that is an integral part of growing in holiness. Make a weekly holy hour and go to daily mass when you are able, but don’t beat yourself up if you can’t. Learn also to find Christ in the everyday, the ordinary. This is a place where he is found.

Allow yourself to meet him in the present moment set before you. It may not feel like anything special, but he is there, in your little cloister, leading you to himself.

For Prayer and Reflection

• Do you ever feel like family life isn’t holy? Take this to prayer. Why do you feel this way? Invite Jesus into your family. Ask him to show you how holy it is.
• In what ways is your family like your own little cloister? How does your family call you out of your “chamber of self”?
• Take some time in silence, even if it’s only 5 minutes. Ask Jesus to be with you. Ask him to speak to you and speak love into your heart.

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