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May You Find the Light in the Darkness
We found ourselves in the emergency room with our six week old. Our house was yet another casualty of RSV this season, and despite our best efforts to protect our six week old from it, we found ourselves rushing him to the hospital because we were concerned by his breathing that night. After getting him evaluated, he was given oxygen and his body found some rest and relief. And they wanted to admit him. An outcome I honestly wasn’t expecting when we took him in. As we sat in our dimmed room waiting for a hospital bed to be prepared for us, I contemplated the darkness of that moment. The…
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A Parade of Priests: Thank you for being there.
When my dad was in the hospital, the priests kept coming in. The nurses were perplexed as to why there was a seeming parade of priests in and out of my dad’s hospital room. My mom let them know he’s the catholic bookstore owner in town. His network is large and he knows quite a lot of people and priests. And let me tell you, they showed up, and it was a beautiful witness. Friday On Friday, Fr. Eric Powell, our pastor, showed up to anoint him. He sat with my mom for some time as well. He likened this time to keeping vigil, a Holy Saturday of sorts. After…
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Living Hope.
“Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who in his great mercy gave us a new birth to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, to an inheritance that is imperishable, undefiled, and unfading, kept in heaven for you…” 1 Peter 1:3-4 I have grappled long and hard with hope. What is it, really? How do I hope? Why do I even need to hope? Last year felt hopeless and difficult. I felt like my prayers were useless. My sentiment was generally “Why do I even pray if I’m not going to get what I so deeply desire?” In my heart,…
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Unmet Expectations
Let’s get real for a moment and talk about unmet expectations. We all have hopes and dreams for how our life should be, but if you’re a normal human being, from time to time what you think your life should be and what it is simply don’t match up. A solution to this problem could be to live without expectations. But it’s hard to live without expectations, though one could argue this brings a level of peace and contentment to our lives. When we drop the expectations, we can be open to receive whatever happens, good or bad. In my experience though, this is very hard to do. I find myself…
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When Prayer Doesn’t Work
Before you begin, read Mark 5:21-43 I have been thinking about prayer a lot lately. Not necessarily how do I pray or what should I pray, but rather what is prayer, really? How does prayer work? Why doesn’t prayer work better? I mean, let’s be honest, I feel like most people (myself included) have wondered why God isn’t answering their prayers. Now, this is such an incredibly broad topic I won’t be able to talk about it from every aspect. So today, I’m addressing the “big” stuff. Why did I have a miscarriage even though I lifted up desperate, incessant prayers that it wouldn’t happen? Why did my daughter/son/mother/father not recover…
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Miscarriage, Gemma, and Pregnancy Loss Awareness Day
October weighs heaven on my heart this year. At the end of this month we were due to welcome a sweet new baby into our hearts and home. It is an emptiness I am acutely aware of. But life seldom meets our expectations. Sometimes it exceeds them far beyond our wildest imagination, but sometimes it falls so very short. Suffering miscarriage is, honestly, something I never thought would happen to me. It happens all the time, but deep down, I never thought I would have to go through it. It’s a painful experience, spiritually, physically, and emotionally. It’s hard to let go of someone you didn’t know but so desperately…
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O, Death, Where is Thy Sting?
When I was in college, noon mass on Fridays was typically celebrated by Fr. James Albers (now Abbot). At the end of mass, we would always sing The Ultima, a Benedictine prayer asking Mary to intercede for us that we may have a happy death. Fr. James would always remind us to keep death before our eyes, not in a morbid sense, but to remember the hope and glory before us in eternal life with Jesus. Those words have been on my mind a lot lately. Do you keep death before your eyes? Do you keep the end in mind, that you may not forget the goal of this earthly…
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Empty Tombs
Before you begin: Read John 20:11-18 I think we can all relate to that feeling of emptiness. We all have those sources of pain and anguish – loss, grief, sadness. I’ve had my own lately. Between dealing with job loss and miscarriage, Lent was tough this year. I felt as though I had been stripped of so many things that were so important to me, and in a way that I didn’t really have a choice in the matter. I know I’m not alone in this. I’ve seen so much suffering around me lately, miscarriage, death of young children, cancer, financial hardship, divorce. I don’t think anyone needs reminding that…